10 Principles for Exploring, Harnessing and Expanding Your Cosmic Beauty as a Woman

While I strongly believe that feminism has brought liberation and empowerment for women and opened the gates for further development so that authentic equality of chances develops in all areas of life and everywhere in the world, there are a few dimensions which, I think and feel, have gotten worse precisely due to the direct responsibility emerging from taking full accountability for one’s life. One of dimensions is the idea of “beauty” which evolved from a general ideal to be praised by poets and artists towards turning into an existential norm which more often than not is both (self-)perpetuating and (self-)destructive. In the following lines I explain ten principles which have helped me transforming from an “ugly duck” full of complexes resulting from the shame and guilt induced since early childhood of not corresponding to prevailing standards of “beauty” – whichever they might be or have been – into a “most beautiful swan” able to carry myself with dignity and serenity despite – or maybe particularly because of the prevalence of – impossible physical expectations from the people in our lives.

1. Dress neatly, elegantly, comfortably: this entails five elements

• Use the three-colors rule: do not dress with outfits of more than three colors and do not combine different nuances of the same color unless you want to make a specific statement – in which case, make sure the “statement” is clear.
• When dressing with clothes with printed materials, restrict printed musters to one print muster per outfit
• Highlight the positive aspects of your body, either by using a tighter top (but not too revealing or sexy, because then it comes across as trashy) or a tighter lower part, like skirt or trousers. Do it with caution and do not wear mini-skirt or leggings – unless, again, the circumstances require it and even then make sure it is appropriate.
• When possible, add a discrete piece of jewelry, a hat, a scarf, a belt: remember, less is more in case of accessories.
• For shoes: employ the style which I refer to as “sporty-comfortable” (really elegant, comfortable shoes are very expensive and might not be easy to find or purchase)
  
  
  

2. Use good quality make-up and apply it in a way that looks natural

know your physical strengths in terms of physical attractiveness and highlight them; remember, as in case of accessories, that less is more and quality prevails over quantity.

3. Use good-quality perfume in small amounts so that it is rather an allusion than a sensorial rain

Apply it discreetly on parts of the body where the skin is close to strongly vascularized areas such as 2-3 centimeters under the ear lobe or on the temples. It goes without saying that you must brush your teeth and shower regularly, if possible every day. From my experience, it is better to shower in the evening than in the morning as it also allows the body to relax in preparation for sleep rather than rushingly prepare for the day ahead. As for washing your hair, it is generally recommended to wash it every day or at least every two days; I would say, it really depends on the type of your hair, but the more often you wash it, the greasier it becomes and the faster it turns thin and “tired-looking”. From my experience, washing your hair with high-quality products every four evenings and then allowing it to dry over night with a towel on the pillow so that the pillow does not get wet and smelly, is the best solution

4. Smile sincerely – that is with mouth AND EYES

Due to social programming in periods of our life when we have no control over ourselves such as early childhood, we are taught to smile even when we do not feel like smiling or when the circumstances are anything but worthy of our smiling reactions. Therefore, in time, most of us develop some sort of “mechanical smile” as default mode which includes the mouth, but not the eyes. It is important to learn and to practice regularly to smile and laugh authentically, wholeheartedly, something which involves not only our physical muscles, but also our heart and soul.

5. Have regular health checks

And take care of your health by eating healthily, sleeping enough hours (at least 8 hours per 24-hours unit), exercising even if it is walking instead of taking public/private transportation. I have an entire article on this topic as well as several articles on each of the elements listed in that article.

6. Try not to rush all the time

Create time-slots and block them in your daily routine in which you can slow down and/or relax. Do not rely on “finding some time for yourself when everything is said and done that must be said and done”, but instead take time for yourself proactively.

7. Related to number 6

Once you have created time for yourself, learn to spend it wisely, not doing chores like cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, bills paying, laundry-washing or worrying respectively obsessing about things, people, future, clothes, money, career etc. It needed be, just sit, sleep, go for a walk, whatever it takes to be with yourself and your true self.

8. Double-check the people in your life: family, friends, work-colleagues 

Are they a plus or a minus? Are you putting more effort in having harmonious interactions with them and is the interaction to a certain degree balanced, mutual beneficial, naturally progressing? Reflect upon your human fellows regularly and take corresponding steps.

9. Ponder regularly on your work and your major relationship (marriage, dating partnership, cohabitation)

Is it a plus or a minus in your life? Has it been evolving in time, is it stagnating or is it deteriorating? Life goes as it comes and we might not notice when things become stale or even confrontational as we just go with the flow and only too late realize how bad the difficulties we have been glossing over for a while have become. It is crucial to evaluate on a regular basis, dot daily or weekly, but rather ever three, six and twelve months, and see what can be done in one direction or other.

10. Know what you want as clearly as you can and improve yourself constantly

We all start our adult lives with preprogramming stemming from our family of origin, our immediate environment such as school, neighborhood, extended family, geographical area as well as historical circumstances. The luckier among us have a healthy pedigree which enables them to pursue their dreams with confidence first and foremost because they know – they are allowed to know – very early on what their dreams are and that dreams change throughout life. The less lucky among us do not have this pedigree. But know that you have read this article and others on this website, you develop self-awareness and learn the crucial skills while acquiring crucial tools for a life of joy, fulfillment and healthy belonging.

Starting to apply each of these principles in your life and adding gradually one by one from one to ten – they are explained in the manner in which I have discovered and developed myself – will bring tremendous change in your life while simultaneously allowing you to move closer towards your inner core so that you, too, can continuously, gently, empower your innate beauty and showcase to the world. In future articles, I shall explain in greater details each of these layers and I invite you to keep on reading and sharing with your loved ones – because sharing is caring!